Green Junkie Living » intention

intention: begin again, again.

Olivia — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 04:31:31 +0000

So much for my daily yoga streak. I was so excited about day 14 because it would signal the half-way point to making yoga a habit. (Don’t people say it takes 28 days?) But by day 14, my body needed a break, any and every break I could give it. The long hours of work, holiday stress (missing my family dearly, and wanting to do everything I could to make Christmas, Seoul Edition, amazing), and all the germs at school conspired against me. By the time I got into bed that night, I was on the brink of tears from exhaustion and stress. I gave myself the OK to forgo one day’s practice in the name of better overall health.

Sadly, inertia is a powerful force! The next day was Christmas Eve, and I completely forgot until I was in bed, falling asleep, at 3am. I didn’t get up. Christmas was spent Skyping long distance and drinking champagne (not healthy, but fun), and then I felt quite under the weather for the rest of the weekend. Excuses, excuses!

Last night I was pretty darn tired, my nose wouldn’t stop running, and I’d been staring at my computer, editing essays for the better part of the day. Couldn’t I just skip one more day? What difference would it make? Lucky for me, among his many other duties, Michael is an awesome live-in beacon of encouragement, and he helped coax me onto the mat.

I knew I would have to take my time, practice patience, and fully give myself over to my practice. I picked an extra-long Sigur Ros song, lit some candles, and began. It was beautiful. I went slowly, remembering my breath and taking note of how my body felt as it went through the poses. Much to my surprise, I hadn’t lost most of the flexibility and strength I had developed over the previous two weeks. To finish, I spent some extra time in tree pose for my knees, and then melted into savasana. It was the perfect return to a daily practice, and a wonderful reminder that even if I do “screw up” (read: miss a few days), I can just as easily begin again, again.

day xiii intention: family

Olivia — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 06:40:58 +0000

Last night’s practice was chock full of family love. Just before it, I had spoken with my parents and brother on Skype, which always feels like such a treat; it can be tricky to connect given the 14 hour time difference. In the sprit of the holidays and fresh off that phone call, I chose to dedicate my practice to family love. I found myself smiling through much of it, even when I was holding poses longer than usual.

I felt particularly connected to my breath, which made such an impact. It sustained me through deeper stretches, and helped me stay balanced as I hung out in tree pose to strengthen my knees. (Though I have yet to master tree pose with my eyes closed. That’s hard!) This time, instead of rushing off to do something, I spent time in savasana, allowing my body to just melt into my mat. By the time I crawled into bed, I felt relaxed and joyful.

As an added bonus and nod to the family theme of the practice, I played some songs my brother’s very talented girlfriend recorded. Made me feel just a little bit closer to everyone back at home.

day xii intention: ???

Olivia — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 10:46:15 +0000

OK, I admit, I don’t remember what my intention was last night. Yikes. But here’s what I do remember: my practice was lovely. Every time I stood and brought my hands over head, leaning backwards, raising my face toward the sky (or, you know, ceiling), I felt a surge of warmth and love. I took my time, trying to remember to use my breath as a tool. I watched my knee alignment and made sure not to hyper-extend my joints. It was a slower practice than usual, but it also had a much greater sense of flow. Utilizing some of the articles I’d read recently, I also managed to finally–finally!–get the hang of rolling over my toes as I transition between poses. That might sound like a ridiculous thing to be so excited about, but if you’ve ever struggled with that fear of crunching your ten little piggies, you can imagine the relief and gratitude at being free of that concern.

Ah! I think I just remembered: gratitude. I focused on being grateful for body that could move as well as it does rather than lament my aches and pains and tightness in my joints. I counted my joys and victories and people and experiences that make me feel blessed. I opened my arms and heart and embraced everything that’s come my way recently, good and bad.

As Van Morrison’s Astral Weeks album clicked from one song to the next to the next, I realized this was one of the longest evening practices I’ve had. When I finished my salutations, I took a few moments to do poses geared specifically towards strengthening my knees. And then I laid back into savasana. I hate to admit it, but I’ve been largely neglecting savasana as it wasn’t technically part of my “5 sun salutations” commitment. I think I can say with confidence now, though, that I will neglect that essential pose no more.

day x intention: india

Olivia — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 03:55:07 +0000

More a dedication than intention, I suppose. I had trouble finding an intention for my practice yesterday, but kept thinking about what a remarkable woman my sister India is. She is perhaps the most brilliant mom I’ve ever met, incredibly loving, sharp, in tune, and strong. Not to mention the fact that she’s super cute and listens to great music. She’s one of my best friends and closest confidantes, so being 7,000 miles away for so long has been a little rough, especially during the holidays. So I decided to channel her awesomeness and send out good vibes for my practice. My friend Bug had also recently sent me this image, which I love, and reminds me in spirit of my sister:

Keeping all that in mind as I went through my practice allowed me to push myself just a bit more. My 5 surya namaskaras served as a warm up rather than my entire practice. It was also a wonderful change to do my yoga at the start of the day rather than at the end; I felt comfortable being more vigorous because I wasn’t going to bed right after. I added warrior I and warrior II, did some wide-leg forward bends (one of my all time favorites), and then what I realized was a rather avian-inspired series of poses: pigeon, crow, and eagle. Finally, I worked up the courage to try working towards doing a proper headstand, something I’ve been thinking about for months and months.

Following these instructions from FitSugar, I decided to start with the modified beginner’s version. It was pretty pathetic — I couldn’t do much beyond properly positioning my head and hands. On the upside, now I have something else to work towards. At some point this summer, I will be able to do a perfect headstand. I am determined.

Unfortunately, at some point in the practice, I did something to aggravate my knee. Early in the fall, I had gone for a short run and somehow managed to seriously hurt both my knees. In fact, part of my motivation for starting this yoga practice is to strengthen my leg muscles and therefore improve my knee function/pain. I suspect I cocked my leg at a bad angle during pigeon yesterday, and that’s what’s causing the pain now. It didn’t hurt during the practice, but started to ache on my walk to work, was worse heading home from a delicious dinner (more on that later), and throbs whenever I walk on it today. It doesn’t feel like a serious injury, but I’m frustrated that it now feels as bad as it did four months ago when I first hurt it. I try to be particularly protective of my knees during yoga, but must have missed the mark. I’ll be reading this article in YogaJournal later to reacquaint myself with the the proper ways to protect my joints. As yoga can be a great healing tool, I plan to continue with my practice as before, but with extra attention to my knees.

day ix intention: joy

Olivia — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 03:33:22 +0000

I was feeling the holiday spirit on Friday night as I prepared to do my practice before bed. My sister and niece made a surprise skype call, and it was such a treat to talk to my family. The practice itself wasn’t remarkable, but it was pleasant and filled with joy as went through my asanas thinking about the holidays.

day vi intention: serenity

Olivia — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 05:39:22 +0000

Last night, long after I should have been snuggle in bed with a book, I finally rolled out my mat for my little daily devotion. As this was a before-bed practice, I turned out the lights, closed the curtains, stripped down to my jammies, and turned on some Enya. (I know, I know.) I stepped to the top of my mat, placed my hands together in front of my heart, and decided to focus on serenity as I transitioned to sleepy time.

It may have been one of the best practices of my life. As I removed as many external distractions as I could, and the music provided a white noise of sorts, I found myself filled with calm and self-forgiveness. Not that I’d done anything wrong, really, of late. But this seemed to be a manifestation of the “self-acceptance” mantra from a few days ago, but taken to new heights. I was positively flooded with a sense of love for who I am. There seems to be such a stigma against self-love, likely for fear that it borders too closely on narcissism, but I think that fear is extremely detrimental. The belief that any of us is better than another is dangerous; self-love is beautiful and powerful.

I’m not quite sure why things came together that way last night. Maybe it was a combination of factors–a rewarding day at work, great news via twitter (more on that later), and a regular, conscious attention on my health. Whatever it was, it was powerful, and I hope I can recapture it again in the future.

Oh, and a little bonus–my downward dog asana is finally approaching a point I’m happy with. That simple little pose has been a challenge for me, but the more time I spend with it every day, the better we get along.

surya namaskara practice: day iv

Olivia — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 13:06:29 +0000

Today’s intention: patience.

It has come to my attention that I am not a patient person. I didn’t believe it was true at first, but when your partner and your best friend both tell you this (and more than once), perhaps it’s time to wake up and listen. And if this has been glaringly obvious to those who know me well, all I can say is…I’m learning.

In that past few months, since this blipped across my radar, I have noticed myself feeling inpatient somewhat frequently. Recognizing this was the first stage, and now that I’ve accepted it, it’s time to try to change it. Of course, I’ve been really inpatient about growing more patient. When I stepped on my mat today, patience was the word that immediately popped into my head.

So what did I do? Flowed through my 5 sun salutations rather quickly, often forgetting that patience was supposed to be my focus.

Oy.

I guess the good news is: I’m taking (small) steps, and I did my (small) practice again today. Perhaps this is in itself a lesson in patience. This means I’m going to have to learn how to be patient with myself, doesn’t it? Baby steps…

surya namaskara practice: day iii

Olivia — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 03:41:56 +0000

After much contemplation and discussion, I decided to go for the ever traditional term “practice” for this experience. (For the record, “experience” was the other leading contender.) While I do love the idea of “intention,” I decided to reserve that for the intention I set each day. Generally I let the intentions come to me, and I can’t begin until I found something that resonates. Sometimes I dedicate my practice to a person (when my cousin was battling cancer, I often sent all my good yoga juju her way), and sometimes it’s something I need to focus on in my own life. Sometimes it’s a whole phrase, but more often than not, it’s a simple word. Today’s intention: joy. It popped into my head as soon I stood on my mat, and I decided to embrace it.

I’ve also made another decision about this practice. Although for now I plan to keep the daily standard of salutations to five, I would also like to work up to having the traditional 12 salutations form the foundation of my practice. So now, in addition to having my daily commitment, I also have something (very attainable) I’m working towards, and that feels great.