Teaching in Seoul in July is it’s own special brand of intense. We’re currently logging around 80 hour work weeks, and find our lives largely revolving around crazy class schedules. Unfortunately, this leaves little time or energy left over for anything else–running, yoga, blogging, heck, even eating.

To help make this month just a little more manageable, I’m officially reducing my responsibilities to: make it through. If this means I don’t squeeze in a single workout, and emails pile up in my inbox until August (when things slow down a smidge), then that’s the way it’s gotta be.

Good times with family, right around the corner, and I can't wait!

Of course, the great news is that in under two months, my man and I will be back Stateside without a scheduled workday until May. Which means I’ll have ample time to catch up on everything that’s falling by the wayside for now. I’m ok with this temporary imbalance knowing what the future holds. Thanks to all of you for understanding if I slack and seem to be incommunicado for a bit!

One of the buildings at Hopkins, my high school. Hopkins fostered my love of words and learning, and each time I teach a literature class, I try to channel the brilliant teachers who taught me. An environment like Hop (or Hop itself) would be my dream teaching job.

I want to teach high school English at an American private school on the East Coast. That’s why I’m pursuing an M.A. in English Literature. Working with high school students to help them figure out the most effective way to express themselves through words, and to unlock the magic that can be hidden away in books, is exciting. And because I love these things, pursuing a career in high school English is the right path.

Wait. Is that true? Is this definitely the right path?

All of the sudden, I’m not so sure. Over the past few years, my certainty about pursuing a career teaching high school English has gone from definitely yes to definitely no and back again, with stops everywhere in between. If I’m perfectly honest with myself, I don’t know for sure that I want to be a career high school teacher. There are parts that wholeheartedly appeal to me (see above), but parts that make me cringe, too (early, early mornings; department politics; an absence of holistic health as prt of my daily life). Then I remind myself that there is no perfect job, and I have to ask if this is perfect enough.

The answer is, I don’t know. Maybe. I do know I’m excited to go back to school and study literature. I do know helping people achieve their goals gets me up in the morning. I do know I am a full on, bona fide, 100% word nerd. I mean, honestly, how many people do you know who have a favorite grammatical construction (using the possessive with a gerund) and favorite form of punctuation (semicolon, of course)? Words are in my blood (Dad’s a brilliant writer) and in my heart (the fiance has mad skills, too). I get excited when it comes to explaining to my students why comma splices are a no-go, and I can never read only one book at a time.

All of this might very well lead me to the front of a classroom at a beautiful school, and if that’s where I end up, I’m sure I’ll be thrilled. But for now, I’m rethinking other options. Community college. Private tutoring. Essay editing as a side business to some holistic health venture. Who knows! It’s an exciting place to be, and I feel incredibly fortunate to be free to choose anything I want, with full support from people I love.

And now I’m opening up the question: What teen-focused, word-centric teaching positions can you think of beyond a high school classroom? I’m eager to hear your thoughts!

[For other posts about my quest for the perfect career, check out my intro to careers in holistic health, and my interview with Ali Shapiro, holistic health counselor. Also stay tuned for a beautiful interview with my yoga-teacher pal, Dana Dabek]

The good news is, I do think it’s happening, bit by bit. I like to think this intention is helping me become a better teacher. Before, I would get so frustrated when students didn’t “get it.” Now (thank goodness!) I know that it’s up to me to make sure they understand, and to be patient in trying to decipher what the challenges are. It helps me approach my work with love and grace, rather than frustration. How do I know it’s working? I’ve realized my face actually hurts from how much I smile while in class. Seriously. My cheeks need a break!

Michael, the Zen master, is of course very supportive of this new undertaking. (Hmm…can’t imagine why…) He recently share this beautiful, brief video of Buddhist nun Pema Chodron with me. Many of you may have already caught the link when I shared it on facebook and Twitter, but I wanted to post it just in case. (I finally figured out how to embed video! OH HURRAH!)

This lesson has already helped me refocus quite a few times since I first watched it a few days ago. My new mantra is, “I cannot cover the world in leather; I can only change my thoughts.” The morning after watching this for the first time, I woke up to the sound of a very long, very loud, very annoying conversation in the stairwell outside my door. My automatic first thought was, “I’m gonna kill that woman.” Nice, Liv. Great, positive way to start the day! Then I remembered Pema Chodron and took a deep breath:

“I cannot cover the world in leather; I can only change my thoughts.”

Ten seconds later, the conversation stopped. I couldn’t help but laugh. I think I’m finally picking up on what the universe is trying to teach me.

Test prep (TOEFL Speaking) is still a big part of what I do, but mostly I have been doing private tutoring with students, working on their college essays. I also teach two small (read: one student per class) “precept” — or introduction to English literature — classes.

Helping students with essays, talking about how to structure a short piece of nonfiction, what a difference it makes when you trim all the fat and choose the most precise words, has been a dream. I know I’m rather spoiled at work, where students are very bright and hardworking, but I’ll take it. The other day, I literally got goosebumps as a student realized how he could restructure his essay to have a much bigger punch.

The lit classes are an absolute treat. I can’t believe I get paid to read and talk about The Giver and The Great Gatsby! My girls are such keen readers, too. (I like to think I have a little something to do with that, but I think they were delivered to me in pretty amazing shape.) The questions they ask and quotes they notice are really sharp, and this is all in their second (or third or fourth) language.

When I came to Korea, I had a few goals that were really important for me to accomplish. Then there were a few things I hoped would happen, but that would take a little more than just effort I put into them. The biggest was the ever-elusive “trying to figure out what the heck I want to do with my life.” It seems, though, that the graces have smiled on me, because I’m rather certain I want to continue doing this — teaching excited students about how truly awesome words are. Stay tuned for more on that.